I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
