i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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