I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
