GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
