did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
