it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
