:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.