Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (715) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  What should our trivia night team be named?

  (925): View more from California

  Define Statutory

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  (206): What should our trivia night team be named? (925): Define Statutory http://tfl.nu/hrvk
  Replies (27) Good night (4677) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess

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  (651): Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess http://tfl.nu/7tw6
  Replies (6) Good night (867) Bad night (2180)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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  (814): He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying http://tfl.nu/diyu
  Replies (28) Good night (12174) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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  (778): some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood" http://tfl.nu/duu9
  Replies (47) Good night (1106) Bad night (7090)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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  (309): I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors. http://tfl.nu/cath
  Replies (10) Good night (11187) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.

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  (303): My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible. http://tfl.nu/r17h
  Replies (12) Good night (5438) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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  (918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy
  Replies (2) Good night (2023) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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  (954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18
  Replies (25) Good night (4930) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.

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  (240): Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me. http://tfl.nu/zpby
  Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (13) Good night (1488) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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  (817): Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window." http://tfl.nu/43ug
  Replies (10) Good night (1975) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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  (785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw

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  (416): He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw http://tfl.nu/7ku2
  Replies (8) Good night (355) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!

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  (330): It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink! http://tfl.nu/ur99
  Replies (1) Good night (273) Bad night (440)

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