Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.