I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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