Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize