He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
