Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
