Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize