i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
