My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
