dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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