if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Let's get the cat blown out
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
