No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
