I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize