Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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