Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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