9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
