he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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