Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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