you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
