Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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