haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
