like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't turn off my feet"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
