Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
