your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
