are you still at the devil's house?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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