i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
