i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
