can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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