We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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