I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
