called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
