yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
