Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i barfeds in our rink
It's just like the Real World with babies
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
