I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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