The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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