you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize