Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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