Already got asked if we're dating
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
high people should be assigned attendants
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
