So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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