my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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