Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
