Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
