it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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