I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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