At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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