I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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