At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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