She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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