i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
