Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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