she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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