no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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