Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
